Think, Thought, Projection

Dear Dee,

I’m an over-thinker…I think you already knew that I just had to say it out loud to believe it myself. I just got a bad report from a client, and despite a full desk of work, all I can think about is where I went wrong. Is the client sure that I messed up? Why did I mess up…..and this train of thought spirals into a web of unrelated issues that my mind manages to link together and I end up with a massive headache I could have avoided.

Funny thing is, despite being an over-thinker I have trained myself to dwell on the inconsequential. So the client is not pleased, that does not reflect on my current relationships and issues with commitment. Or does it? Are my traits manifesting in my work, is my insecurity finally rearing its head? I always seem to connect the dots even when none are present and it is driving me nuts.

Consulted Doctor Google on a few occasions, and as per that child’s diagnosis I should be institutionalized, or on some heavy medication. But I’ll seek a second opinion first.

How often do we really get to thinking about what matters, am not sure. I just drop in an out of it…. Well mostly in, living in my head. It’s a mess up there, but I’ve embraced it and believe am more peaceful mingling with my thoughts that I ever was among people. Humans have a way of evoking emotions you never knew possible for you… And sometimes that’s a bad thing.

I like rambling Dee, because making coherent conversations necessitates investment and commitment and at times vulnerability. It’s like being naked in front of strangers. Sometimes I ask if I overshare or if I don’t share enough…. Always with the questions….but I guess it’s a universal trait for a majority…. Second guessing everything.