“Mothering Through Burnout: Lessons from Scripture”

Dear Dee,

It has been a hectic week, and I can’t believe another one has already begun. From visits to the dentist, rushing to meet work deadlines, and short calls from my ladybug, I am worn out. I believe my entire weekend was highlighted by miniature naps when my body decided it was time out. I want a holiday away from the bustle of being me; however, such a trip requires finances which places me back to square one – Working.

Motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with love, joy, and precious moments. However, it’s also a journey that can be incredibly demanding, leaving mothers feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. As moms, we often put tremendous pressure on ourselves to be everything to everyone, which can lead to burnout. But fear not, for in the pages of Scripture, we find guidance, strength, and hope to navigate the challenges of motherhood, even in the midst of burnout. In this blog, we will explore lessons from Scripture and share a few anecdotes to help you mother through burnout with faith and resilience.

Lesson 1: Finding Rest in God’s Presence

I vividly remember a time when I was running on fumes, trying to meet the demands of motherhood, work, and household chores. It felt like an endless cycle, and I was on the verge of burnout. At present, with my parents helping with the parenting I have moments of ease, which I am forever grateful for. While motherhood may be a blessing, it does call for more responsibility that people let one. Mothers are never given a day off, and part of this mentality is our fault for making ourselves indispensable to our families. However, lately, one scripture comes to mind when I am tired;

Scripture: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

This verse reminds us that in the midst of our exhaustion, we can turn to God for rest. Just as Jesus invited the weary to find solace in Him, we can find rest in His presence through prayer, meditation, and moments of quiet reflection. It’s okay to take a break, even for a few minutes, to recharge your spirit and regain perspective. Sometimes seeking help is essential, do not let pride get in the way of you finding assistance when necessary. The fact that someone else did the mothering for a minute or two does not make you a bad mother.

Lesson 2: Embracing Imperfection

When Grace was still an infant, I felt like I had to be a supermom, juggling a multitude of responsibilities flawlessly. When I couldn’t meet these unrealistic expectations, it led to guilt and feelings of inadequacy. I was supposed to be her all, ticking every box in the list of responsibilities that mothers have. Especially with her, I wanted to erase all my former flaws by being a perfect mother. It was only until a few mishaps here and there forced me to see how flawed I was that I began to seek God’s grace and completion.

Scripture: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'” – 2 Corinthians 12:9a

God’s grace covers our imperfections. We don’t have to be perfect mothers. In fact, our weaknesses are opportunities for God to display His strength. If we could do everything, then what is the need for an all-knowing and perfect God. When we embrace our imperfections and seek His grace, we find relief from the burden of perfectionism. We do not have to be perfect because only He is perfect and that’s fine. We should find rest in that in our weakness or failings God is glorified the more. I was never able to keep time or budget well regarding Grace’s essentials, however, I can attest that God has been faithful in His provision for this little angel.

Lesson 3: Seeking Support and Community

During a particularly challenging season, I isolated myself, thinking I had to handle everything on my own. It only deepened my burnout. My desire not to burden others left me in despair for I felt like the responsibilities had no end in sight. When my parents took over part of the parenting I felt like a failure. How is it that I could not raise one child yet my parents had managed three just fine? I wanted to shun their help but was at my wit’s end. Once I embraced their help, I was relieved and felt better about myself – resulting in me doing better at caring for my child. Their help felt like a much-needed hug after a long and stressful day. We were not created to be like an Island, humans are social beings.

Scripture: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a

God created us for the aspect of community, the social support afforded by others through fellowship. Reach out to fellow moms, friends, or support groups. Share the weight of love for your children with others. Do not harbor your struggles and instead lean on one another for encouragement, advice, company, and prayer. You’ll find strength in the bonds of sisterhood and the wisdom of shared experiences. I always chime this phrase to my daughter “Sharing is caring“, which I believe is true even for self-care.

Lesson 4: Prioritizing Self-Care

I once thought self-care was selfish, but I learned the hard way that neglecting my own well-being only exacerbated my burnout. My mother always complained about how I went shopping for baby clothes and essentials but neglected to get things for myself. I thought that was good parenting, placing her needs and wants before my own. However, a well-taken care-of mother results in a happy healthy child. If you neglect yourself, it does not mean you are a good mother, it just sets you up for failure. In my current discipleship class we were learning about stewardship and one participant pointed out that our bodies are not our own – God has loaned them to us and we should be faithful in caring for His property. While scripture was quoted to support this point, it did not sink in until some days later.

Scripture: “Or do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s an act of stewardship. When we prioritize self-care, we honor God by caring for the temple He entrusted to us. Self-care can be as simple as a quiet cup of tea, a short walk, or setting boundaries to protect your physical and emotional health. Do not think that you require some expensive endeavor to quantify as self-care. Do something for you. I like to take warm baths and cuddle up with a book, and this is enough to charge me up for the next few days.

Mommy’s Timeout

Motherhood can indeed be challenging, and burnout is a battle many mothers face. But through the wisdom of Scripture, we learn that we are not alone in this journey. God offers us rest, grace, community, and the reminder that our well-being matters. By seeking His guidance and following these lessons, we can navigate motherhood with faith, resilience, and a heart filled with love, even during the most challenging times. Remember, you are a beloved child of God, and He walks beside you on this beautiful, albeit sometimes tough, journey of motherhood.